I’ve always thought that MMORPGs are such nice games. You get to make your own character who doesn’t look like you, meet people and chat, role play like you’re a totally different person and live in a very different world with no city buildings or concrete streets, but living in a whole new world with trees and blue skies and cute monsters to kill. MMORPG is one way to escape the reality of life.
So when I registered on Toram Online, I made this character and named her Icy Gaze. She was completely different from me. She had silver hair (I wanted to have silky silver hair) and her eyes were gray and cold, as if her gaze might freeze you to death. That’s how icy she is, hence, the name.
At first, I wanted to stick to her role: icy. I tried chatting with the other players in this kinda ‘cool’ way of talking, as if I was cold, friendly yet formal and stuff. But afterwards, I felt envy towards other players who just play for fun, chat funnily, approach others in a friendly way, and I wanted to drop the act and be like them. So then, I dropped treating Toram as if it was not a game, and took it more seriously. I took online friendships more seriously, the game too seriously (which is kinda why I got addicted) and I found this really nice guild (a group of players who always play together) and I kinda felt they were like family.
So in the game, Icy Gaze was no longer the icy person that she was. She was flourishing her game skills, and also socializing skills, and I think I got along well with everyone. But then, as I became too much closer with our guild leaders, I discovered some kind of “drama” between other guild mates, which involved liars, manipulations, sexting, nude photos exchanged and a lot of other ‘dark things’. People may say those are really dark, but to these people, it was natural. It was my first time being caught up in something like it. It made my chest heavy.
But now, all’s done and I’ve left that kind of world… That world where I could’ve acted somebody else; a fantasy world where there were no work, assignments or responsibilities. I left, even though I invested so much money into buying in-app purchases, or the fact that I’ve made another character, a second one, named Fire Lie. Unlike Icy Gaze, Fire Lie looked just like what his name is: hot, fiery, blazing. He was a character surrounded with swirling flames. They were the complete opposite of each other. I miss those characters. I miss them so much that I kinda wanted to go back and play again.
But I guess this is for the best. Life should be peaceful without any of that drama or without any addiction. And sometimes, you gotta be careful what’s happening on the internet. The web is such a hellish place, you might just get burned.
Word of the Day Challenge: gaze
Fandango’s One Word Challenge: envy
Your Daily Word Prompt: flourishing
Ragtag Daily Prompt: chest
Elemental Writing Challenge April 7: blazing