When I was a child, my future seemed nothing but haze. Nothing was clear about what I was to become or what I would do as a result of being powerless over myself. All I knew was that I should do what my parents wanted me to do and my abidance as a little child was all that mattered. All my plans and all my schedules depended on my parents if they’d allow me or not. Even as a teenager, they decide when I should experience enjoyments with my friends; if I can go to that sleepover, if I am allowed to go to that concert, or if I’m allowed to hang out with friends after school.
All of the leisure time I had was mostly spent inside my house. It was a tiring childhood. It’s like getting tied to a huge-sized cactus, or being trapped in the bottom of a dark well.
There was a time though, during the high school prom, which was the best fun I had back then. There was a lot of dancing in the ballroom and a lot of guys danced with me. However, just like Cinderella, I had to go home by midnight, with my dad serving as my pumpkin ride home.
Now that I think about it, if I could only send a letter to my past self and deliver it by post, I would write to her:
“Go and stay up all night dancing. It’s okay for transgressions and rebellion, even if your father says he’s the law in the house. Because the truth is, you’re the only one who makes decisions with what you do with your life.”